Thursday, August 28, 2014

Seriously Challenged

Have you noticed all the social media challenges lately, and I am not talking about the brilliantly marketed ice bucket challenge for ALS, but the "grateful" challenges. While it is a fantastic concept, to sit back for 3 or 5 days (depending on who sent it to you) and reflect on 3 things you are thankful for, grateful for, happy thoughts, whatever, you name it. Great, right?! We should all do this, all the time. We should live in this state of mind. In reality, this just drives me bonkers. Like for some reason, it seriously bothers me. Maybe I am just jealous that no one tagged me? hmmm? But, now, I really want someone to tag me so I can by sarcastic and rude. Who is this "new" self. Who stole my apple pie outlook and let in this bitchy imposter? I think this is the new 40. I don't give a rats ass anymore.

So here you go, 3 things in 5 minutes instead of 5 days.

1. I am thankful that I didn't have a vertigo episode when I was in "rockstar" pose at yoga this morning. Oh and that I didn't fart during class, there were only 3 of us, it would have been obvious.

2. I am grateful that I have a drip coffee machine in my kitchen and milk that is only 11 days old to pour in it.

3. I am happy for that 30 minute nap this evening, when both the kids were gone. Should I have been a good wife and instigated some romantic relations? Perhaps. He should just be thankful that the thought even passed through my mind, even if I chose to ignore it and sleep instead.

So, I think that was 5 actual things, or maybe 6, but you get the idea.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Seriously Tripping

Can not believe it is mid-July and I have not posted about "vacation" yet. As soon as school let out at the end of June, the girls, dog and I hopped in the car for our first serious road trip. We took 11 days and over 2000 miles! Hubs showed up to help with the last 700+ miles though (thank god!) Here's the recap.

The first night in a hotel north of Baltimore, I almost threw in the towel and drove home. I had taken a course that day at the Culinary Institute across the river from us (1 hr drive) so we didn't start our road trip until 5pm and I had already driven 100 miles that day.  There was a wedding group staying at the hotel, so as each guest arrived back to their room anytime between 11:30pm and 3am, my dog went ballistic. I actually had to get up and walk her at 2:30am. It was not pretty. Plus, I had snuck her in, so I was so nervous that we would get caught. Day 2, after approximately 2 hours of sleep, we took the long way around DC but had no traffic and made pretty good time down to my college roommates house south of Raleigh. After a great overnight visit, we made the final push to my parents. We spent 5 days there and had fun with my brothers and my nephew and with my parents. We hit the beach twice, the pool numerous times, plus manicures with grammy and the golf range with grampy. All was good.

Then we split up the trip to Knoxville, TN by driving to my aunts' in Columbia, SC for an overnight. The only mishap on this leg was the pouring rain and my driving on the wrong side of the road at South of the Border. Other than freaking out my 13 year old co-pilot we were fine and I quickly pulled over for some disgusting tacos.

Knoxville for a visit with my grandmother was very low-key and relaxing. We did get the 87 year old and her walker out to the movies to see Maleficent and to dinner at Bravo. It was some good ole QT with the girls' great-grandmother. Hubs flew in after many flight delays, got 6 hours of sleep and then we drove all the way home. I logged approximately 1500 miles of driving on this trip which is approximately 1400 more than I drive on any family road trip we normally take. You see my patting myself on the back, right?!

Highlight - I let the kids each pick out a t-shirt at the beach shop near Wrightsville Beach. Car really wanted a tank which took much longer to find in the piles, but we found one! I washed it and as I was folding it I realized this is what the logo said -

Yup - my 10 year old just wants to have Rum. Mom of the year right over here! I guess our eyes saw something completely different and much more age appropriate.

I did grab my box cutter and worked some wonders if I do say so myself. There may be a few small holes, but at least she can wear it in public now. And, I do think this is something we will laugh about for the next 40 years.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Seriously Fitting?

Well, Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. May your day be filled with good weather, good company and good spirits!  Unfortunately, I will not get to see my own dad (he lives 600+ miles away).

To hubs - who is the greatest! It may not be the most ideal Father's Day in all of history but we do hope you enjoy it in the best way that you can. Here is the breakdown -

6am-11am - golf with his buds

11am - 11:45am - late breakfast with his kids

11:45am - 2:30pm - Hubs tends to his garden and reads the paper while his girls are backstage helping at the little kids dance recital

2:30-3:45am - picnic lunch in the car outside the recital theater. Talk about family fun!

4pm - 8pm - Hubs will nap and perhaps watch some sports and perhaps start dinner while the girls and I are at dance recital

8pm - 9pm  - late dinner as a fam and then bed - it is a school night around these parts.

So,  he gets approximately 3 hours with his kids today. Not really sure if that's what Father's Day is all about, but at least he gets to skip sitting through recital 2 days in a row-  maybe that's the most fitting Father's Day gift of all?

Monday, June 2, 2014

Seriously Fizzling

Grades for report cards are due in less than two weeks so you know what that means? We are cramming in the remainder of the curriculum and testing the children at a Dover Downs kind of pace.  Car was in tears today trying to find verbs in a verb phrase, three times she circled nouns (she is 10 years old people) We.are.just.done. 

If we finish out the year all in one piece it will be a miracle. Between 3 lacrosse games this week, on top of girl scouts for both and my leader meeting, 12 dance classes, two golf lessons and piano we are bit over scheduled to say the least. Oh, and hubs is gonna be gone Tuesday - Sunday. And, this is not even recital week. Next week should be a real kick in the ass.

The two meltdowns that occurred between 3:15 and 3:30pm from Car is not a good indication of how this is all going to go. And, I think I am PMSing again, already. My cycle is dwindling down to every 22-25 days, so this does not fare well for the overall vibe in this house either, as admittedly I am a little testy during the 7 days leading up to the menses. So, you do the math on how often that's occurring, it ain't pretty. 

Wish me luck. See you on the other side... of a margarita glass if I don't throw in the towel before then. 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Seriously Kicked

Love a long weekend at home! I so wish it meant summer was actually upon us. But, here in New York, we have weeks and weeks until the real fun begins, about 4 more in fact. It is a busy time of year with testing, field trips, sports, banquets, parties, and recitals. I am sick of studying with my kids, sick of reminding them to do homework, sick of reminding them to practice their instruments, sick of carpooling them all over the county for sports and events, sick of having to schedule out every moment of every day, including my shower.

But, you know what, this weekend we had a reprieve. We were lucky to have just a few events that they had to be at (piano, dance and guitar) otherwise we were free! On Memorial Day a brilliant friend had the brilliant idea of our entire bunco group renting out the picnic area at the large county park just outside of town. So, we had a playground, a pavilion, bathrooms and a field all to ourselves. 25 families which included 65 children! It was affordable ($15/family) and we each brought our own food, toys and drinks. There was a massive water gun fight, there was ladder ball and corn hole, there was sidewalk chalk and hula hoops, there was playground fun and volleyball. But the most fun for me, was the kickball. This is a game I have probably not played in 20+ years and it truly is so much fun! First, just the moms played, it was hilarious and easy and no pressure. Then the kids and dads played which was exciting and silly and active and then an adults only game which was competitive, intense and exhausting. Usually at these events, when the 35+ age group participates in a sporting event together there is at least one "major" injury. I did strain my hip from trying to steal 2nd base, but I am seriously accident prone, so I got off easy considering, actually, we all got off easy.

I may be pushing it but I think I may try to coordinate an adult kickball league here in small town. Once a week, bring a cooler, your family and let the good times roll...

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Seriously Waxed

This post may make you uncomfortable because I am going to talk about my hoo hoo, you know, my beave. So, if this is the future and you are my dad or any male relative that stumbled upon this post (anyone beyond 2nd cousins are fine) stop reading now. I have adequately warned you.

At the ripe old age of 40, I decided to get my first ever bikini wax in preparation for my girl's weekend with my college housemates next week. I always wondered what all the hype was about and if it really is better than just shaving. So these are my take-a-ways from this experience.

1. Why do women succumb themselves to this torture every 3 weeks for their entire adult lives during bathing suit season? Hot wax, the most sensitive part of your body, and the eye watering, clenched fist rip of what feels like your entire top layer of skin, 15 times in a row. I still cannot believe I was not oozing blood.
2. "Isn't this so much better than razor burn" says the technician. Um, jury is still out on that one. I did have what appeared to be razor burn or it must have been 'open pore burn' for 2 days afterwards. The red, splotchy, swollen skin around my lady parts lasted for days and days. Razor burn if treated correctly is not so bad (Aloe Vera lotion right after the shower, then air dry for at least 10 minutes - Yes I am an expert, I have had 27 years experience with shaving this area and I have extremely sensitive skin). With the wax job my reaction was so bad, I had to apply bacitracin for the first 2 days before I could even switch to Aloe Vera.
3. Maybe it is just my skin.  I did have one brow wax about 13 years ago that also ended very, very badly as the swollen, red space above and below the brow caused me to wear a baseball cap for 3 days until I would allow anyone to actually look me in the face.
4. I also had no idea that a standard bikini wax in which I kept my undies on, resulted in a landing strip. Four days later and hubs just starts laughing out loud when I get out of the shower. Not because he doesn't like it, but because he knows how sensitive my skin is and how many horrible cosmetic and adhesive reactions I have had over the years, this is just another something to add to the growing list of stupid heather decisions.
5. I am so glad I rescheduled this for 8 days before my girl's weekend and not the day before as I had originally planned. One little checkmark for me :).
6.  I keep finding strays that the technician missed so every time I get out of the shower I am using tweezers to finish the job.
7. No one told me it could lead to bruising...

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. Enjoy your day!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Seriously Texas

I wish a vacation high lasted a few days after you get home, actually I would even take a few hours. We had a great time! I highly recommend a trip to Texas. Everything is bigger and better in Texas. I can plan it all for you, even on a budget, I am a queen at budget trip planning because I over-think and over-research everything. I think I must have been a travel agent in a past life.  Seeing our friends that moved away to Dallas was so bitter sweet. We had such an awesome visit and the kids were all amazing together and it just reiterated how much we miss them and how great we had it when they lived 3 blocks away. So, we will be going back to Dallas. We also toured the cities of Austin and San Antonio. So much to see and do, and we only hit a few of the things I would have liked to. Austin has t-shirts and signs all about that say "Keep Austin Weird". I think that about sums up Austin, but weird in a quirky fun kind of way, for sure. After our city tours we visited hub's cousin at his "ranch" outside of Houston. It is a ranch as it has wild animals roaming, but not the kind of ranch you are thinking of, this one is all African mammals like Oryx, Impala, Fallow Deer, Sable, and many more. The house is amazing with these sweeping views of these meadows where the animals live. We drove over to a nearby horse ranch to horseback ride, so the girls got to experience that, as well.

On the trip we took our nephew's Flat Charlie, so he too, could have a Texas adventure. I feel there could be a book just about Flat Charlie and all of his adventures. And I will leave you with a few:

Flat Charlie and our friends where Kennedy 
was shot in Dallas (Lee Harvey Oswald shot from 
rectangle window 2nd down from top on right)
Flat Charlie touring Austin via the DuckBoat

Flat Charlie at a concert at Austin City Limits -
he got into  a scuffle in my purse and broke (off) his arm

Flat Charlie at the Alamo in San Antonio

Flat Charlie with "Whitey"
a sable at the ranch

Flat Charlie horseback riding

Flat Charlie and the zebra head pillow
at the ranch - look closely it is an actual zebra's face

Flat Charlie's appt with the plastic "surgeon" to 
repair his arm on Monday morning