Thursday, September 13, 2012

Seriously Asleep



The other night I had just fallen soundly asleep when I hear a, “Heather, you awake?” from the bathroom. I spring out of bed, “yup, “ I yell as I rub my eyes and stumble towards the light. 

What’s going through my head in the 5 seconds it takes me to maneuver through this narrow, confined space?  A weird bug (but why wouldn’t he just kill it), a feminine product not disposed of properly (why harp on that at this hour, just flush it) One of the kids? (but he’s in our bathroom not in the hall) A phone call? Hmmm... 

I look up and he is standing in the full light looking at me with his white under-shirt pulled up to his shoulders.  “Look at this, ” he says, pointing at his chest.  As my eyes adjust to the bright fluorescent of the annoying energy saver light bulbs I say, “You have hair growing out of your nipple?” Response: “No, the rash, do you see the rash?” I turn as I start chuckling and he says, “no, seriously, you dim-wit do you see this rash” I examine the rash, which is in fact covering his chest, torso and back and tell him to take some Benadryl.  I got back in bed but couldn’t stop laughing for a good 20 minutes.   

We’ve been married for 15 years and I just now noticed the nipple hair? Seriously.