Seriously Chafed

So a friend asked if I wanted to try aerial yoga and I practically jumped at her I was so excited. As a former gymnast who thinks she is somewhat in shape (a little yoga, a little jogging) I thought this would be right up my alley - yoga upside down while supported, yes thank you! As my friends can attest I do like any opportunity to do a handstand or show you my 1992 floor routine (minus the tumbling - so it's really just a goofy leaping dance show), and I especially like to perform these numbers after a few cocktails. It doesn't always end well, but sometimes I seriously think I nailed it - like in the high 9's for scoring. So, back to aerial yoga on silks, OUTSIDE on a deck on a beautiful summer night - could it possibly get any better? There was a soft breeze, soft music and lovely instructor, a cute young couple and then my two nutsy friends and I. We hop into our "seats" and are swinging lightly in the breeze as we begin the practice - very quickly we move into some basic stretches and poses. Then we start flipping into and out of poses. This was way out of my comfort zone as I hadn't done any real flipping in at least 15 years. It did seem like I was going to nail my head on the ground as I dove forward but somehow I did not and was now in a very awkward forward bend with my legs bent like a frog and I felt my first sensation of chafing. The silk was rubbing against my feet and hips to a degree that was about unbearable but there was absolutely no way to get out of this position without actually landing on my head. So I had to pull myself back around and then climb up the silks (good evening biceps) until I was standing up on them and swaying. I glance back at my two friends - one is still upside down turning purple while trying to figure out how the devil to get out and the other was sitting on the ground about to throw up - there was NO disclosure about possible motion sickness.... So the class continued, minus one- I attempted every pose and aerial maneuver and was quite proud of myself for sticking with it. Did I love it? No, certainly not - was I challenged, yes definitely. My core was killing me the next day from all the balancing and pulling up to get out of "stunts". But what I walk away mostly with was the feeling of the silk chafing against my butt fat as it hung over the material when I was upside down. Can I get over that and try again? I am going to have to seriously think about it. Seriously.

Seriously Uncertain

I started a blog approximately 11 months ago. I wrote exactly one post and then backed away. I could blame it on the kids, the house, the husband, the dog, but really it's just me. I am seriously unmotivated. If you ask any of my friends what trait of mine they wished they had they would say that I am organized. I really do like check lists, grocery lists, meal lists, activity lists, you get the idea. But, when it comes to my own life and ambitions I am seriously lame. My youngest will be ten soon and I do realize most stay at homers with kids the same ages have eased back into some sort of employment.  I help out at the school,  I coach a "sport",  I help my kids with homework, I carpool to all the activities and I bake homemade cookies (of course, of course, of course, of course, of course) But trying to figure out what I actually want to do with my time that I am not with my children has been a bit tricky. I even got a puppy - but she just turned one and doesn't need me like she did. I have a lot of wants in this life and my husband has very recently started suggesting that if I really want it I should get a job. I realize he is right, but in reality I don't want to mess with this gig I got. I am pretty happy. I feel like I am doing exactly what I thought I would be doing as I near the big 4-0 (other than having created that critically acclaimed 30 minute comedy for NBC) I guess that's it. I thought I would be a writer and as you have witnessed I have written approximately 800 words in the past year. Maybe I should take a creative writing class at my local community college? But that would be me spending more money on me and not making any money for me.  And then there is all that damn guilt about all my wants vs needs - the same thing I lecture my tweenage girls about constantly. Even though I am doing what I thought I would be doing pertaining to my family life at this stage I guess I just thought it would be different and easier. I do wish their was a reset button in the sense of work experience and education choices as the tech/network support job I excelled at in 1999 does not equate to any money now. And I don't want to get a job just to get a job, (no retail, no teacher's aide, no waitressing) I want to find something I actually enjoy and make money doing that. If I have to mess with this pretty damn good life, than it better be worth it. I'll take suggestions. And don't say go get a Master's in Ed to teach - I live in NY and school budgets aren't passing - they would have to hire back all the teachers they let go before they start hiring new ones. But, I do love a good party - do you think a small upstate country town that's in a severe recession is in need of a party planner? Seriously...

Seriously Asleep

The other night I had just fallen soundly asleep when I hear a, “Heather, you awake?” from the bathroom. I spring out of bed, “yup, “ I yell as I rub my eyes and stumble towards the light. 

What’s going through my head in the 5 seconds it takes me to maneuver through this narrow, confined space?  A weird bug (but why wouldn’t he just kill it), a feminine product not disposed of properly (why harp on that at this hour, just flush it) One of the kids? (but he’s in our bathroom not in the hall) A phone call? Hmmm... 

I look up and he is standing in the full light looking at me with his white under-shirt pulled up to his shoulders.  “Look at this, ” he says, pointing at his chest.  As my eyes adjust to the bright fluorescent of the annoying energy saver light bulbs I say, “You have hair growing out of your nipple?” Response: “No, the rash, do you see the rash?” I turn as I start chuckling and he says, “no, seriously, you dim-wit do you see this rash” I examine the rash, which is in fact covering his chest, torso and back and tell him to take some Benadryl.  I got back in bed but couldn’t stop laughing for a good 20 minutes.   

We’ve been married for 15 years and I just now noticed the nipple hair? Seriously.