The other
night I had just fallen soundly asleep when I hear a, “Heather, you awake?”
from the bathroom. I spring out of bed, “yup, “ I yell as I rub my eyes and
stumble towards the light.
What’s going through my head in the 5 seconds it
takes me to maneuver through this narrow, confined space? A weird bug (but why wouldn’t he just kill
it), a feminine product not disposed of properly (why harp on that at this hour,
just flush it) One of the kids? (but he’s in our bathroom not in the hall) A
phone call? Hmmm...
I look up and he is
standing in the full light looking at me with his white under-shirt pulled up
to his shoulders. “Look at this, ” he
says, pointing at his chest. As my eyes
adjust to the bright fluorescent of the annoying energy saver light bulbs I
say, “You have hair growing out of your nipple?” Response: “No, the rash, do
you see the rash?” I turn as I start chuckling and he says, “no, seriously, you
dim-wit do you see this rash” I examine the rash, which is in fact covering his
chest, torso and back and tell him to take some Benadryl. I got back in bed but couldn’t stop laughing
for a good 20 minutes.
We’ve been
married for 15 years and I just now noticed the nipple hair? Seriously.
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